by Rebecca Lau

I was born into a Christian family and went to church with my grandma every weekend as a child. My family wasn’t rich. Growing up, my classmates would make fun of my clothes and belongings, which made me felt very ashamed of my family background. I couldn’t understand why some people were born rich, while I was poor. Some people were born talented and while others were born disabled. I couldn’t understand the unfairness in life. I tried to find answers, but because the Christians in my family were such poor witnesses of Christ that I turned away from church and set off to find my own answers. I was determined to find my own way and live my own life, a life away from poverty.

...all the while justifying my actions by blaming my parents’ financial incompetency, my loneliness and depression.

When I started to work, I loved to party and met a lot of rich people to make me feel I am a part of them. To get into their circle, I would overspend on dresses and entertainment to match them. I even took drugs with these “friends”—because that’s the fastest way to get into their circle—all the while justifying my actions by blaming my parents’ financial incompetency, my loneliness and depression. Everyone around me was like this, so why couldn’t I do the same? I deserved to do what makes me happy. The next ten years were spent in a vicious cycle of self-deception, anger, resentment, and rebellion.

I was an aggressive negotiator at the business table and worked very hard. I even sought out Feng Shui and supernatural powers to pursue more money.

Things got a little better after I met my husband and gave birth to my son. I stopped partying and turned my focus to creating a financially sound environment for my new family. In 2006, my husband and I started our own business. I was an aggressive negotiator at the business table and worked very hard. I even sought out Feng Shui and supernatural powers to pursue more money. Our business flourished and we were able to maintain a good living standard for our children for the past decade. However, in 2017 our business took a steep dive. The business plunged into a crisis, we had to downsize and was in great pressure of financial stress. The pressure became overwhelming, it directly affected our family and marriage.

I had rejected the invitation time and time again, but finally, when I could see no other way out, my desperation led me to give church a try.

While I was struggling to salvage the business and marriage, my long-time mentor Jane spent 6 months inviting me to The Vine. I had rejected the invitation time and time again, but finally, when I could see no other way out, my desperation led me to give church a try.

That Sunday, guest speaker Ps Chris Hayward spoke about innovative breakthrough. He said God has a purpose for everyone, so you shouldn’t look down on yourself. The message spoke right to my heart, and I sat in my seat crying for a very long time. I was so touched because I knew right then that God had a plan to bring our whole family back to Him.

There were a lot of light bulb moments; a lot of questions that I couldn’t understand before, He answered one by one.

Over the next few months, a lot of miracles happened. Whenever I felt fear or had questions, I would pray and God would answer me by the very next day. There were a lot of light bulb moments; a lot of questions that I couldn’t understand before, He answered one by one. I even had a physical encounter with God one night on my balcony, I was praying there, suddenly all the old memories flashing back like MTV, I never understand why I have done that and I have never felt that shame for what I have done. I cried and I repented and asked God to forgive me. At the moment, the pressure, the dust that was sitting on my shoulder for over the last 4 decades was lifted, like a vacuum suction, and I see the light. I never feel so good in my life. It was so bright and I knew there is something going to change from that moment. That year July, I enrolled in the Alpha Course to learn more about Him, and in September I was baptised.

I saw following God as living a life of sacrifices and couldn’t see the grace and blessings that He had placed in my life, but thank God for not letting go of me.

Looking back, I can see how an altered perspective of life and money when I was young took deep roots in me and manifested itself in disobedience, rebellion, unfilial piety, and so much more. I saw following God as living a life of sacrifices and couldn’t see the grace and blessings that He had placed in my life, but thank God for not letting go of me. Today I know that I have a purpose and I am much happier. Even though I am still trying to figure out how to be righteous with money and what my attitude should be at work, towards my parents and my children, I am looking forward to letting God take the lead.

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