by May Li
I was born in a traditional family with two sisters and a brother, and I was the youngest by 10 years. As a result, I was always left out and left behind. I had no authority to voice my opinion on anything, and my views were suppressed. As I came to adolescence, an out-going and talkative girl quickly turned into a timid and quiet teenager in secondary school. My siblings were always teasing and bullying me about my appearance – I was short and fat with a brown/yellow complexion. Depression and an eating disorder soon followed.
Spiritually, I struggled with following my parents who were devoted to Buddhism. I prayed for an hour every morning and evening to a statue of Buddha, hoping that it would help me to solve my problems but it was in vain. I couldn’t feel peace and joy. Many of my friends preached the gospel to me and invited me to experience the evangelism of Billy Graham at that time, but I rejected them. I hated Christians for being so annoyingly persistent.
Anorexia triggered many other health issues and damaged my health for years. It ruined my relationship with my father, who abandoned me. He told me to die and not bother the family anymore. I hit rock bottom: no career, no boyfriend (I split with my boyfriend of 7 years), and my mental health was gone. Suicide seemed inevitable.