by Charles Cheng
I came from a family where my parents are both really hurt themselves so I grew up with a lot of wounding from my family of origin. I’ve been seeking inner healing and peace since I was young. It first started as a pursuit to get rid of the pain. When I was a teenager, I tried channelling the pain to sports; I tried overcoming the pain with will power and reasoning; I tried to tell myself, “I don’t care”, in order to cut off the pain; and I tried listening to music that resonates with the pain so that I felt that someone understands. When prayer became part of my life, I started asking God to help me out.
Not knowing the details behind healing and pain when I was younger, one prayer I naturally said would involve me asking God for things that I want because getting things I wanted would make me happy and forget about my pain. For example, I would ask God to help me to do well in sports, studies, and career. Behind this request was the deep scar from my parents’ rejection. Without knowing it, I was subconsciously thinking if I do well, people would appreciate me instead of rejecting me. This is just one type of prayer. There are many other types of prayer I came up with as time progressed. Sometimes, things went in my favour and sometimes they didn’t. Through this prayer journey, I learned about some ways that inner healing works in my life.