Many of us know people who are strongly affected by the current situation in our city—the violence and conflict, the political situation, and other things. We’re all wrestling with this in one way or another. Sometimes we don’t know how to help at a time where things are so complex and feelings are so strong. Yet we want to and to do so is to follow in Christ’s footsteps, figuring out how to love others and ourselves in good and difficult seasons.

We’ve put together these practical resources for you to equip yourself, to reach out to others, and to better navigate through differences and conflict within our relationships. Click on the links below to read more:

• How do we walk with others who are distressed?

• How do we navigate differences and conflict?

• How do we care well for ourselves?

我們身邊有很多人因我們城市的現況——暴力和衝突、政治局勢、和其他事情——受到嚴重的影響。我們的內心在搏鬥。有時我們不知道如何幫助他人，特別是在事情如此復雜和情緒如此強烈的狀況下。但我們想盡一份力，如果要這麼做的話，我們就必須跟隨基督的腳步，知道如何在患難中去愛自己和他人。

我們將這些實用的辦法整合在一起，你可以裝備自己、幫助身邊的人、以及更好地解決我們人際關係中的差異和衝突。點擊下面的連結閱讀更多內容：

• 我們如何伴隨正在感到苦惱及焦慮的人？

• 我們如何面對及處理差異和衝突？

• 我們如何愛護及照顧自己？

Guidelines for Managing Difficult Conversations

by Karen Tong, LMFT, Oasis at The Vine

Managing Difficult Conversations

• Starting the conversation (e.g. “I want to talk to you about something and I’d appreciate it if you could hear what I have to say, and then I’ll hear you out as well. Is this OK?”)

• State the specific problem (e.g. “I notice that…” “I feel…when this happened.” “I’d appreciate it if…” “I need…”)

• Listen attentively to the other person (e.g. “Help me understand your points of view, what’s going on, and how you are feeling.”)

• Reflect back what you’ve heard (e.g. “What I’ve heard you say is this…Is that correct?”)

• Put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Express empathy (e.g. “I understand how you feel.” “This must be painful for you.”)

• Brainstorm solutions for the problem (e.g. “Let’s brainstorm possible ways to address this problem. Can you share your ideas about this?”)

• Select a few possible solutions to try out and agree to meet again to evaluate the process and the outcome.

• Agree to disagree on issues that do not have a solution (e.g. “Clearly we have different opinions on this. But we can agree to differ, and let’s continue to value our friendship.”)

Regulating Emotions

• Name and acknowledge your emotions (e.g. I feel angry and upset right now.)

• Be aware of how your body feels (e.g. I notice tensions throughout my body.)

• Take a couple of deep breaths.

• Practise relaxation skills (e.g. tightening the muscles of different parts of your body and releasing the tension.)

• Stop, pause, and take a step back from the situation.

• Self-soothe by focusing on your five senses (e.g. sight, sound, smell, taste, touch.)

Creating the Space to Hear Ourselves, Each Other and God

by Dr. Lance Lee, PhD Oasis at The Vine

The crisis in Hong Kong has exposed deep divisions in our society, and fed experiences of deep hurt and pain—even hostility and conflict—in our friendships, families, and even the church. What is needed is a place where we can safely express ourselves—where we can share our feelings and acknowledge our experiences—a place where we can hear one another, and the heart and voice of God. Safe Haven Support Group is a protocol designed to do expressly that—to give individuals in a community the chance to openly and safely share their feelings, while learning to listen to one another and God. Download the guidelines for facilitating a support group.

Raising Peacemakers

by Carmen Chow, Children’s Ministry Coordinator

It’s easy for kids to get the wrong idea. That peacemaking is weak or cowardly. That the most courage belongs to the loudest voice and the reddest face. The Bible teaches and honors those who exercise a quiet strength of compassion and the courage involved in solving problems peacefully.

With a little coaching and a few strategies, kids – even those who are very young – are more than capable of peacemaking among their siblings and friends. Ultimately, these skills will serve them well in future relationships, the workplace, and any other potential conflicts they seek to resolve. By the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can raise up a generation of children who will be agents of peace in the Kingdom.