Why the Difference Course? – Christina Lee Showalter
A year ago when Nate & I shared a sermon at the Vine on the beatitude, Blessed are the peacemakers, I found myself reflecting on my broken relationship with my older brother, Paul. Why was it no longer possible for me to communicate with this sibling with whom I had once been so close? It was easy to blame him, but I knew I had to look within myself.
What needs to change within me in order to take steps toward reconciliation? Then there was the protest movement over the extradition bill. I could see how families and friendships and churches were being divided, even torn apart by political differences. I could feel the anger and desperation of young people who were grasping helplessly for a different kind of future for Hong Kong. I was saddened to see the government’s inability to turn this crisis into an opportunity for dialogue and healing. I became increasingly frustrated, both by the destructive violence of the protestors and by the brutality of the police.
Nate and I began to meet with a peacemaking group, talking about a practical ways to help people to talk more constructively into these conflicts. Could a way be found for families and churches in Hong Kong to grow through conflict, to disagree respectfully? As we were struggling to develop a curriculum for small groups to use in dealing constructively with conflict, we learned about Difference, a course created in England for just this purpose.
I wanted to learn more about this course. Nate & I took training to become facilitators so that we could both facilitate the course and experience it for ourselves. We are nearing the end of the 5-week Difference course. It has been encouraging, challenging and faith building. We are learning to make three habits—be curious, be present and reimagine—a part of our everyday thinking about conflict, in our marriages and family settings, at work and in the church. And I am gaining new insights and tools for thinking, praying and engaging in the conflict with my older brother.
There is still no reconciliation in sight, but I am reimagining a future in which we can hear each other’s hearts, with tears wiped away in a deeper empathy and understanding for one another. I can imagine a time when he is able to forgive me for a wrong that has hurt him deeply, and I forgiving him for the ways he has humiliated my husband and me within our extended family.
